We made an Abrams classic, a recipe circa the 1993-1994 school year when my brother was in 5th grade.  See the thing is, he went to some after-school cooking class and they gave him a book of recipes. We have been making ”chicken with peas in pasta” ever since.

I Had to go to the gringo-esque supermarket to get all the food and it was mega expensive.  A small wedge of real parmesan cheese cost a whopping $10 which was lame. But it was that or that white squeaky cheese they use for everything else.

The jist:

cut up chicken into small pieces. Sautee it until cooked. Add some broth and peas, simmer for five minutes.  Add two eggs and stir alot until eggs are cooked and coat the chicken and make a thicker sauce.  Add a handful of asiago cheese. Stir to continue making the sauce.  Pour over pasta. DONE!

The me-in-Costa-Rica-way:

Cut up chicken and to make it thinner, use the meat mallet.  Oh, right.  My host mom doesn’t use mallets. Instead, she uses this infamous (at least to me) rock that smashes anything and everything from plantains to meat apparently.  Surprisingly, it works a million times better than I’ve seen a mallet work.  And you get to feel like a caveman /indigenous. History and cooking. Yes.

Three eggs and a crap load of broth that had to be poured out of a hot pan a few times..and chicken that wasn’t as golden as I would have preferred…..later…brings you deliciousness.  I heard it was yummy. I had a vegetarian version. We also had crackers with the hummus I have been making from scratch lately.

For dessert we had crackers with dulce de leche straight out of the can. Or at least..I did.

it was a baby! get ‘em while they’re young.

you were small and had wings to fly

you flew frantically upon seeing me.

did you know you were going to die???

i killed two of you yesterday

and a big fat momma last week

apparently that didn’t keep you guys at bay.

i’m pretty sure my host family would agree

because you are so ickyyyyy

we would like to kill ALL of you, muder inc. style, 1st degree.

cockroaches have been around forever

they’re brown. and very creepy.

but they cant seem to get grosser, never.

As expected, getting there was not as easy as it should be.  First bus was simple, came every half hour, painless.  The second bus I KNEW would be scary.  Sure enough, it was.  The first bus takes you to a town called Puriscal where there is a bus to the town our farm is in.  The bus stop in this town is “kiddy corner to the Super Mora (supermarket) and across from the carneceria (meat market)” as the directions said.  First problem: there are two Super Moras and it is up to us to judge the “larger of the two” as the directions also mentioned.  Oh and both entrances have a meat market across from them. The second issue is that only one bus leaves from Puriscal that goes to Mastatal.  It leaves at precisely 3:00PM and if you miss it, you’re screwed.

We eventually found the right area to wait and got on the bus.  Picture: old American school bus from the late 80s.  Also picture: the woman sitting next to us is holding….a live rooster. Thats fine. Turns out this is the only real town that has shops and places to buy things in a pretty much 2 hour radius from the town we’re going to. Gotta get your rooster while you can!

The bus ride was by far the scariest bus ride of my life.  Worse than my trip to Montezuma.  Why? For one, the school bus. We are all immediate projectiles if the bus falls and we have nothing but hard seats, metal sides and glass windows to be thrown into.  Also the roads were like Montezuma but scarier.  There were times where the turns over cliffs were so tight that I could not see the road beneath us.  We also almost missed our stop.  Initially we thought we were supposed to go to a town 11KM past the actual location.  Oops. Thank you ticos for noticing our confused faces.

The farm we stayed at was beautiful.  It is  owned by a Tico family but run by their 25 year old son and his wife.  It is basically a giant experiment to see what will grow on the land.  All the typical suspects are there: cows, pigs, chickens, turkeys, and compost toilets.  Why not use our waste to fertilize? Brilliant idea.  Environmentally friendly plus great views of the forest! Not too comfortable, though.  There is also Landers, the guard dog who barks at any one who enters the farm.  He’s not the most friendly – we heard stories of him trying to bite/kill the vegetable man when he wasn’t chained up. But if you’ve been there for a while he gets bored of you fairly quickly.

Highlights:

Saturday: At night we went to a fundraiser for the town’s girls soccer team. While getting a table, a woman began yelling about how her and her other farmers will not be eating on disposable plates.  They will only eat food on reusable materials. The damn enviro-nazi brought her own fork too. I hate those people. They piss everyone off and it’s not a learning experience when you’re getting screamed at.  Anyway, if she cared to check (which I did after), the town doesn’t have enough money to throw those would-be disposable plates away. Instead, they are washed and re-used.  The things you don’t realize when you’re busy being elitist.

Sunday: The group went to a soccer tournament between all the small towns.  The managers of the farm are on the town’s teams so we went to support them.  The town’s transportation was a cattle truck.  43 of us (someone in the group counted) fit into this truck meant for about 25 people.  The games weren’t too exciting but a few things kept us entertained: 1. if a spectator needed to get to the other side of the field, there was no walking around.  They walked right across the field as the game was going on. This includes stray dogs who saunter across the field  and screw up plays.   2. People often would kick to each other on the field while the game is going. 3. a mini fist fight ensued with two boys next to us and ticos, always looking for fun gossip, all stopped to watch – including the soccer teams.

Monday: The tree-house where most of us slept has a new trail that isn’t entirely completed.  The first two hours of my work on Monday were to fix up some of the trail and put in steps and reinforcements and such.  We made the trail a lot better. I used a machette, which are very scary things.

Tuesday: The entire day was deemed “cashew day” for me.  Along with another temporary farmer, I walked around among the various farms in town to as many cashew trees as possible and picked the fruit.  The interesting/gross thing about cashews is that they grow in a shell on top of a fruit.  And the older and riper the fruit, the better the cashew.  Which means we were plucking cashews that were on the ground attached to sometimes very warm maggot infested fruits.  mmmmmmm.  Also, the process to get them out of the shell is intensive and somewhat toxic.  But it was cool and yummy in the end.

Wednesday: Did a lot of raking, attempted to water a greenhouse which is much harder than it looks.

Thursday: This day was the beginning of the real holidayish part of the week.  Something catholic happens so we didn’t do any work. Instead, we  went fishing in the river.  Fishing was hard and Ana and I caught nothing.  However, one of the manager’s sisters caught three fish.  We suck.

Friday: We did no work this day as well.  Instead, three of us woke up at 4:15AM to hike up a really large mountain.  We walked 45 minutes to pick up our tour guide, then walked another 2 hours to the start of the hike.  Then we hiked for six hours.  It was hot and at points very excruciating.  And a snake slithered in front of me on the way up. EEK.  But the top was beautiful and our accomplishment made everything worthwhile. We were a little embarrassed though- we were really sweaty and tired, took many breaks and drank a lot of water.  We were clad in the best hiking gear from the most expensive american companies – North Face, Patagonia, Merrill..etc. All the while our tour guide wore a t-shirt, jeans, and broken rain-boots with no socks.  Also, on the way down we saw a family (with an 8 year-old playing a gameboy) hiking up for a picnic.  They were all jolly in their regular clothes and looked like they were on a leisurely stroll. After a three hour nap on hammocks we helped the family attempt to paint eggs for Easter (the Jew trying to explain in spanish about how to paint eggs? What?) It was very difficult because the three-year old niece found it hard to pay attention during the entire activity and ended up just dunking the unpainted eggs into the blue dye and asking me 3 seconds later if they were finished.  I told her they needed more time but she didn’t care and took them out.  We had two dozen eggs and at least 7 of them were not painted..but had a “beautiful blue tint to them.”  Also, the family has gotten really into ping-pong in the last few months and we had a March Madness style competition between everyone on the farm.  Needless to say, I need to brush up on my skills and lost in the first round.

Saturday: We went to the farm for the first time.  Originally we were supposed to go on horseback with water in buckets because it didn’t rain all week.  But it rained after we got back from the hike on Friday.  So we went and weeded for a few hours.

Sunday: We took the one and only bus that leaves the town at 5:30AM and were back in San Jose at 9.

Great relaxing week. Finished Sophie’s Choice (the book I’ve been reading now for 2 months) and started and finished a Tree Grows in Brooklyn. Got real tan, did some manual labor, and spent very little money.

LONGEST BLOG POST EVER. SORRY. NOT INCLUDING PICTURES BECAUSE IT MAKES THIS EVEN LONGER. GO TO FACEBOOK IF YOU WANT TO SEE THEM. THANKS.

Ah, welcome home.

Last weekend I traveled with five of my friends to a very tiny beach town called Montezuma on the Nicoya Peninsula of Costa Rica. It’s somewhat complicated to get to – first you take a bus to Puntarenas, then a ferry across to the peninsula and then a bus to the town.  All in all, six hours.

Because traveling in Latin America is never uneventful, even our cab ride to the first bus was memorable.  The bus we wanted to take was at 6AM  which required us to get up at 4:30 to get in a cab by 5 to get to the station on time.  Damn is that early. When you wake up that early and have to do things like pack and eat and plan to travel, it sort of feels like sleepwalking.  You’re not quite awake but you’re not quite asleep either.  You are also very calm.  We got the cab at just the right time and began our drive to the sketchiest bus station I’ve ever seen.  Three of us in the back, one in the front  (the others were taking a different cab).   The city was erie and silent and we were coasting on half-asleepedness for the first 15 minutes of the ride.  Around this time, we stop at a light (or stop sign? can’t remember) with about 3 cars in front of us.  The first car was a tiny 1980s hatchback with 2 doors and room for 2.5 people.

We all slow down and the first car at the intersection stops appropriately and then gets ready to go.  It rolls through the intersection and out of no where a city bus driving at least 40 mph T-bones the tiny hatchback driving it about half a block out of the intersection.  I was sitting in the center of the back and watched this entire horrific scene play out.  It was straight out of a fucking movie.  As the bus hit the car we all quickly awoke from our sleepy states and blurted out various expletives.  I believe I said “holyyyyyyyy shit.  hoolllyyyy shit.” Once the bus came to a screeching halt, the car or cars in front of us disappeared.  But we did not.  Instead, we joined the situation and our taxi driver made a right and stopped next to the ball of metal that was once  a car.  He put his hazards on and got out of the car.  Passengers from the bus were filing off the bus, some trying to help the situation, others waiting to the side looking at their watches.  Our cab driver joined the people trying to help the situation.  A group was trying to open the passenger-side window/door to assess the situation of the driver.  No one could get the damn window open so our driver smashed it open with a quick kick.  He grabbed his cell phone and radio and began calling his boss and the police to alert them of the situation.  During this time, we were blocking the intersection entirely and in Tico fashion, the cars and trucks behind us began honking.  I had no idea what was going to happen next – are we now involved in this for an extended period of time? Should we get out and do something? Should we move the car? Am I still asleep? We all looked to our left at the car and realized we couldn’t see the driver.  S/he was not slumped over, not leaning back in the seat…s/he was no where to be found.  We came to the conclusion that for the first time in our lives, we most likely witnessed someone die before our eyes.

After opening the passenger window our driver got back in the car, spoke to us and his radio and we continued on our way.  About 3 minutes later we heard ambulances.  We were all shaken up at this point, I can remember that I was visibly shivering still.  We go to our bus station as it was opening and we tipped him the equivalent of $2 (taxi’s never take tips) for being courageous enough to step into the situation.

The bus was fine, the ferry was beautiful -we ran into co-op kids from Northeastern on the ferry, one being my friend Megan! Strange. The second bus was chaotic, hot and confusing.  We knew we had to get on that bus, but didn’t know exactly where it was going, how much it cost, or when to get off.  We got on with standing room only and about 25 min into the ride seats became available.  It was at least 90 degrees and there was no wind.  About 45 min into the ride it occurred to me that maybe we should figure out where to get off for our hostel.  It was the last stop.  Montezuma is only accessible by this one dirt road that our bus took.  The last .10th of a mile was the scariest bus ride.  I was sitting in the second to last row and could watch as we made our turns down the hill the bus tilt back and forth, lifting its sides at least half a foot if not more off the ground.  How we did not fall over is beyond me.

Our hostel was beautiful and the town was even more beautiful.  Lots of people with dreadlocks.  Mostly gringo tourists.  There is a string of beaches with different names and the first day we went to the Playa Grande which is a half hour hike through terrain next to the beach.  Not worth it.  But the hike was fun.  We had good pizza the first night and tried to go to this restaurant Organico about 3 times and each time they told us they were closed – which didn’t make sense but whatever.  The second day we hiked up to a big waterfall, then hiked up a very  frightening hike to the second, larger waterfall who’s water leads to the smaller one we first reached.  Scary hike, scarier cliff jumps into the water below.  I did not partake.  After the waterfall hikes we hit the beach and found a location with great waves and stayed there until about 7pm.  We were right next to this on-beach hotel that had a happy hour where 4 bucks buys you two large mixed drinks.  I had the best drink I’ve ever had called Monkey Business. I had about 3 of them.

On Sunday morning I woke up at 7:30, looked at the bus schedule and realized that if we wanted to get back to San Jose before dark (you do NOT want to be anywhere near that bus station after dark…even during the day you dont) we would have to leave at 8:00.  In a half hour.  I immediately woke up my room and we decided to scramble and leave to get to the bus on time.  At 7:55 my friend reminded us that we forgot to alert the other three about our sudden change of plans.  So with 3 minutes remaining I told them they had to get ready as quickly as physically possible and meet us down at the bus.  Crazy and hectic but we all made it there with time to spare (Tico time again..bus left at 8:20 or later).

Although it was crazy getting and leaving there, I would go back.  Definitely my favorite place so far.  And I got very. very. very. tan.

we’re on day 5.

My 22nd birthday was last Wednesday and happened to coincide with a field trip planned for my Environmental Issues class.  We went to a number of places which I shall discuss.  There’s really little to no way this post can be that funny because it was just such an amazing day.  However, feel free to use this as another reason to be angry for me having the best life ever created.

We started the day driving to the pacific coast, about an hour and a half away because we used the new highway.  My professor brought along her friend who looked a lot like a vulture.  But he was cool, so whatever.

Our first stop were the mouths of rivers and a part of an ocean both notorious for the garbage in them.  We went past the ocean to see that the land seemed pretty clear which was good.  But, this is the third world.  They cleaned up the beach, yeah, but didn’t stop the garbage flow.  Instead, they just stopped it a little more upstream so less people would see it.  Keep it classy Costa Rica.  Then we went to the river mouth where there was a lot of really old garbage hanging out.  To get there, we had to drive on a newly constructed dirt road because the old one washed away (along with a few houses..still in the river..)

Mini

Then we went on a crocodile tour.  It was on a river called Tarcoles which has about 2,000 crocodiles in it.  Before we got on the tour we wet in the gift shop and fell in love with a random dog named Mini. The tour was pretty cool.  It started late because the crew was trying to rescue a boat that sunk.  Anyway, we saw a ton of crocodiles including the largest one in Central America.  The guide went all Steve Irwin on us and got out and fed a few of them including the big-ass one. By the way, they have clever names for some of the crocodiles: the largest male is Osama Bin Laden while the largest female is Monica Lewinsky.  (Really..we’re still on that? Wasn’t that incident like..15 years ago?) There were also ones named Angelina Jolie and Hillary Clinton.

We thought that the day was over…but…because my professor is supremely awesome, she took us to a beach.  Oh, please, not any beach, but HER beach.  She belongs to this nature-preserve/sustainable development organization that I can only describe by comparing it to building your house on a country club property.  She is one of about 2,000 people who own a housing unit in this area, nestled among a giant nature preserve, hotel and beach.  It is very heavily guarded..you go through two security guard posts and need a special wrist band to get in.  Very safe.  Anyway, it was pretty much the best beach.  It’s quiet, only used by the members and hotel guests.  It’s very clear water.  And there are big reef areas where you can snorkel and see beautiful fish.  She said she starts her day every day by snorkeling and hanging on the beach.  What a life.  We borrowed her mask and did a bit of snorkeling.  It was amazing – like being in a fish tank.  I got inches away from this bright blue fish with yellow stripes.  We also stood right next to a big school of tiny fish.  We hung around the beach for the rest of the day, met a guy who works/lives at the hotel and watched the sun set.  And then SURPRISE! For only the third time since our professor moved there, baby turtles hatched right before our eyes on the beach.  We got there just in time to see the last one struggle to get sucked in by the tide to swim to the big ocean.  It was amazing.

Ana on a palm tree at sunset

Then I had a party at my house for my birthday. Friends of all levels of greatness came.  Best part: my host sister (my friend’s step mom, who lives upstairs..) made me the best dessert: a pie plate with a layer of ice cream, a layer of thin cake slices and then dulce de leche and marshmellows. Then put it in the freezer. Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.

(PS: Thanks Liz for the photos! My camera died that day)

Heaven

2 weekends ago (I think?) my host-brother, Alfredo, took me and Billy to Cartago.  It’s an easy day trip and there is a lot to do there.  Our first stop was to a volcano called Irazu.  The crater and the views were really cool but it was very much a “drive 2 hours to get out of your car walk a little take pictures and then leave” situation.  I got some pretty cool shots, nonetheless.

After that we ate lunch at a beautiful hill overlooking the area and saw some old churches – the first in Costa Rica and a mid-evil one. But the real cool part was the spontaneous stop at an abandoned hospital / reform school (which, a few days after we visited, was on the SyFy show Gost Hunters International!

The hospital was creepy beyond anything I have ever seen.  There were still things on the wall and in the rooms left over from when the building was in use.  Seeing these broken down items made it super eerie.  The building closed in the 70s so everything was quite old.  Also, strangely, they had a working chicken coup in the middle of the establishment.  Roosters walked freely among the hospital.  The one in this post was exceptionally loud and just hanging out in the middle of a room on steps that lead nowhere.

Here are some of the many photos I took:

Sorry not much of a fascinating post because I’m writing about it so late!

Abuela (in chair) greets older her older sister who is 100 years old

This past thursday my  grandmother here celebrated her 92nd birthday.  No Tico birthday is complete without a celebration of the ages.  When I told my host-sister that I wanted to go to the party she was shocked, confused, and intrigued by my interest.  ”But it will be all old people!” she said.  I rebutted by saying thats precisely why I want to go.  It must be fun.  ”It won’t be fun…it will be…different.” But she did tell me there would be a lot of cake and I helped make this eggnog+spices+sugar+rum drink that was delicious so I basically had my heart set on going no matter what else she said.

Turns out it was a LOT of fun.  There were 2 guitar players (one of whom oddly has the exact same faux hawk as I do), a lot of old people, a lot of family, a really cute kid with big green goggles void of lenses who refused to talk to me or any other gringo, a whole lot of food, some singing, and yes – cake (3 types).

Mama Tica singing with faux hawk musician

Naturally, the night ended with the same group of family playing

Family

dominos.  Winning is serious business.  We’ve already decided that my host mother’s oldest daughter has been cheating with her boyfriend every time.

Evidence from just five minutes ago:

Left: random person eating. Middle: cleaning lady/does everything ever woman (still don't know her name). Right: Mama Tica!

This portion of the post is dedicated to Catherine Armato

Toyota Tercel

Have you you been looking everywhere for your old Toyota Tercel or Nissan Sentra circa 1985-1995? Fear none.  I have found it.  Them. All of them.  They are without a doubt all located in this country.  Some in surprisingly great condition.